High Contrast Grey.

It appears that by setting my expectations so low for the holidays, that everything positive that happened made it an amazing holiday. It made it even harder as I realized that I’m leaving here again soon though.. I’ve made some really great friends here and really don’t want to lose them.

Christmas ‘07 I still miss that jacket..

The protein drink mix turns the milk green and adds pockets of grit. Its like drinking imitation vanilla sand. Meh. Maybe after drinking this shit for awhile I’ll feel mentally better.. I’m really looking forward to house sitting for Dustin and Natasha. I’m not even sure how to explain the excitement.. I do really miss those two. It was nice living with them, for the most part, as they were like me in the sense that they didn’t want to go out partying all the time, but instead enjoyed simple relaxation, intelligent conversation, and nice dinners from time to time. Of course with art nights thrown in on occasion for good measure. PS. I hate the holidays. Though I did enjoy watching the Always Sunny christmas episode today. For a bizarre unexplainable reason I like seeing mall santas attacked, ie also the Boondocks christmas episode. With the pretty curtains around Dustin and Natasha’s places I should have a few nice backdrops for playing dress up on Christma...

I love these random stairways dispersed throughout the city. Covered in moss and hidden under trees. They have this odd feel of never really being used as nature attempts to take them back, but yet I see people walking up and down hurrying to get to their destination. A means of transportation ignored. I wake up to the sound of the rain pounding upon the roof of the house and look out the window to see the rain streaming down and being highlighted under the streetlamp. Things are left drenched, but none of the fun of walking around in the rain as the sun comes up and the rain stops. It appears that when I get sick that I begin to run low on food.. except for tangerines, so cheap and juicy, and full of vitamin c.

Picture taken this past summer.. I truly let loose in playing my according last night. I was looking for a bit of solitude in my room but Audrey wanted me to interact with her so I started playing my accordion. The sound of it captivates me. Expresses my emotions through random selections of notes, deep and mournful. It left me feeling open and exposed. I think I am going to go by the accordion shop between the U District and Wallingford and see if I can find a book that can teach me how to play. Then again perhaps knowing what I am doing instead of just the random notes will take away the musical connection I share with the instrument, as neither of us understand one another, but yet we can still make noises to comprehend emotion. Personification. I can only hope that the roommate I will be assigned on Missoula won’t complain too much about the accordion. I’m feeling somewhat worrisome about being assigned a roommate on such few criteria. It will all work out, or so I keep t...

I get quite frustrated with this small skeletal structure. Forearms would be nice, at least to have sleeves fit on without billowing. I would also really like all the ‘too skinny’ comments to end. If it is impolite to call fat people fat, why is it alright to demean the skinny? Its not as if I haven’t tried for years to gain weight.

Its been bothering me that my last entry seemed to lack all emotion. Very dry. Listing occurrences, but not feelings. Meh. I was experimenting with making gin and tonics.. so I could blame the intoxication. I called in sick today after I woke up at midnight to coughing and wheezing. I fell asleep a few times after waking up, but only to the point of lying down and dreaming as though they were hallucinations. I got in quite a bit of reading of the Picture of Dorian Gray this morning. I’m not sure why Dorian’s last name is spelling with an a, where as in the book the color grey is spelled with an e. So far the book has been a lot of bourgeois intelligence talk, which is nice, especially in contrast to the conversations I get to be a part of on a daily basis while working. My complaint of the customers not knowing how to phrase a question instead of just demanding something, was perhaps proven and denied at the same time as a lady the other day yelled “question” at me from about t...